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(p. 441) Conclusion: Conversations with Long-Term Couples Who Have Faced Challenges and Navigated Through Them 

(p. 441) Conclusion: Conversations with Long-Term Couples Who Have Faced Challenges and Navigated Through Them
Chapter:
(p. 441) Conclusion: Conversations with Long-Term Couples Who Have Faced Challenges and Navigated Through Them
Author(s):

Nanette K. Gartrell

, and Esther D. Rothblum

DOI:
10.1093/med-psych/9780190635176.003.0024
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date: 15 December 2019

This chapter presents seven scenarios that illustrate how stressors can place long-term LGBTQ relationships at risk for dissolution, and discusses the strategies couples implemented to navigate through these challenges. We engaged in conversations with at least one person in a series of LGBTQ couples (diverse in race, ethnicity, gender, gender identity, geography, SES/income, education, and health/ability) that have been together for over 15 years. We focused on issues that frequently arise in the LGBTQ community, including (1) differences in outness, (2) gender identity, (3) polyamory, (4) rearing children, (5) money and status, (6) health, and (7) the role of ex-lovers. We then discuss effective strategies for maintaining relationships, including (1) acknowledging demographic and culture differences, (2) giving relationships time, (3) using community supports, (4) understanding gender differences in sexual activity and monogamy, (5) perceiving differences in money and power, (6) seeking therapy and legal advice, and (7) compromising versus issuing an ultimatum.

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